Right time to buy-the-dip in One Constitution Avenue apartments, say Islamabad real estate agents

{Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not present itself as the truth. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.}

Real estate agents in Islamabad are urging potential buyers to quickly take advantage of the falling prices of One Constitution Avenue, a luxury apartment complex at an extremely exclusive location in Islamabad.

“Timing is the name of the game,” said Siddique Abbasi, of Abbasi Associated, showing potential buyers the building, while police were escorting current residents out of the building. “And the timing is now.”

“Yes, there are problems,” he said, while Shehzore vehicles were being loaded with the belongings of residents of the building after the Islamabad Police raided the building complex and forced the residents to vacate in a couple of hours, owing to the contested legality of the structure. “But this is Pakistan, which locality doesn’t have a problem?”

“Some localities have a water problem, others don’t have natural gas piping, others have erratic electric loadshedding problems. This one has the police throwing you out? So what? Nothing you can’t deal with.”

“But it won’t remain the same,” said Abbasi. “These current residents and owners are just nervous and they will sell these units for a quarter of what they bought them for! They don’t know that the better ones amongst these belong to really important and powerful people. And those guys never let anything happen to their investments. This is Pakistan, people!”

“For instance, I have it on good authority that one of the better apartments here belongs to (former PM) Imran Khan. Can anyone hurt Imran Khan, tell me?”