‘Nasir Khan Jan Index’ shows actual inflation remains in check, says govt

{Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not present itself as the truth. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.}

ISLAMABAD: Information Minister Attaullah Tarar on Thursday rejected claims that inflation remains a concern for ordinary Pakistanis, citing the remarkable price stability of social media influencer Nasir Khan Jan's personalised birthday videos.

"Petrol prices have fluctuated. Electricity tariffs have fluctuated. Even tomatoes have fluctuated," Tarar told reporters. "But one thing has remained constant through wars, pandemics, IMF programmes, and political upheavals: Nasir Khan Jan's birthday video price."

The minister was referring to a recent social media post in which Khan Jan noted that despite rising petrol prices, he continues to charge Rs 5,000 for a personalised birthday greeting — the same amount he reportedly charged eight years ago.

"This is not just a video," Tarar said. "This is data."

According to government sources, the Finance Ministry has quietly begun using the "Nasir Khan Jan Index" (NKJI) as an alternative measure of inflation after officials grew frustrated with economists who kept focusing on food, fuel, housing and other "negative indicators."

A briefing prepared for cabinet members noted that while the rupee has depreciated significantly against the dollar since 2017, it continues to purchase exactly one Nasir Khan Jan birthday video.

"That is what economists call price stability," explained a senior ministry official.

The official, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorised to discuss birthday-based monetary policy, said the government had become increasingly concerned by conventional inflation measures.

"Every month we would release statistics and people would complain. Then somebody pointed out that Nasir Khan Jan still charges Rs 5,000. That's when we realised the economy needed a more positive benchmark."

The ministry has reportedly commissioned a team of economists to study why Khan Jan's birthday video prices have remained frozen despite years of inflation.

One preliminary theory suggests that the market has reached what experts call "peak Nasir."

Another attributes the phenomenon to Khan Jan's personal commitment to affordability.

"Unlike selfish industries such as food production and transportation, Mr Khan Jan has chosen not to pass higher costs on to consumers," the report states.

Government officials now hope to expand the index into a broader framework for economic planning.

Under one proposal, the Pakistan Bureau of Statistics would replace its Consumer Price Index basket with a single monthly survey asking whether the cost of obtaining a birthday greeting from Nasir Khan Jan has changed.

"If the answer is no, inflation is effectively zero," said the official.

The idea has already attracted interest from financial markets.

Several brokerage houses are reportedly developing Nasir Khan Jan futures contracts, allowing investors to lock in birthday-video prices months in advance.

"Suppose your niece's birthday is in November," explained one investment banker. "You buy a September NKJ futures contract today. If birthday video prices unexpectedly rise to Rs 5,001, you've protected yourself against inflation."

Analysts described the market as particularly attractive because no one currently believes prices will ever move.

"The expected annual return is zero," said one Karachi-based trader. "But so is the volatility. It's the closest thing Pakistan has to a risk-free asset."

The State Bank is also said to be exploring whether Nasir Khan Jan videos could be added to the country's foreign exchange reserves.

Economists, however, remain divided.

Some argue the NKJI is a valuable complement to traditional indicators.

Others note that a man charging the same price for eight years may not necessarily prove the absence of inflation.

These concerns were dismissed by government officials.

"Look, ordinary people don't understand basis points, monetary tightening or real interest rates," said Tarar. "But they understand one thing."

He then held up a framed screenshot of Khan Jan's Facebook post.

"Eight years. Five thousand rupees. Not a paisa more."

"Frankly, if that's not economic resilience, I don't know what is."