Goal of having 14 different motorways connecting Islamabad and Lahore achievable, says Ahsan Iqbal

[Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not present itself as the truth. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.]

ISLAMABAD: Rejecting criticism from horizontal-expansion skeptics and macroeconomists who "clearly lack spatial awareness," Federal Minister for Planning and Development Ahsan Iqbal announced on Friday that the Ministry’s Vision 2040 framework is entirely on track to deliver 14 parallel multi-lane motorways connecting the twin cities to Lahore.

Addressing a seminar titled “Asphalt as a Primary Food Group,” the Minister explained that the traditional view of an economy, relying on complex variables like exports, structural tax reform, or industrial productivity, is fundamentally outdated.

"True economic velocity is measured in kilometers per hour," the Minister reportedly stated while tracing a straight line across a map of Punjab with a thick black sharpie. "By the time we inaugurate the M-22, a citizen will be able to leave Islamabad, realize they forgot their wallet in Lahore, and return before inflation can catch up with them."

The Planning Commission later clarified that the 14-motorway ecosystem will offer highly targeted transit solutions rather than redundant infrastructure. To give just four examples:

The M-13: Strictly for Rawalpindi-to-Kharian purists who find the M-2 "too mainstream."

The M-16: A dedicated route for citizens who want to think about the agricultural crisis while driving on pristine, imported bitumen.

The M-21: Reserved entirely for VIP protocols to move between secret government meetings about how to fund the M-22.

The M-22: Only for those who want to go from Gulberg, Lahore to Monal, Islamabad for lunch and back in time for dinner.