{Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not present itself as the truth. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.}
”It’s nothing, just some Bigg Apple,” said a source at the CCP on the condition of anonymity despite taking hearty gulps from a bottle that was clearly not Bigg Apple.
The Rawalpindi‑based beverages maker, which holds a nigh monopoly in its niche, reported net revenue of Rs28.6 billion for the year ended 30 June 2025, up 20.0% from Rs23.8 billion last year. Net profit rose 24.4% to Rs3.3 billion, as gross margins widened and finance income stayed elevated.
”You know what, our job is to take down all monopolies and oligopolies,” said another CCP staffer present at the occasion. “And we do drop the Hammer of Thor on them. Yes, there are times when we are unable to do so, but even in those instances, these cartels are scared of us.”
”But here we have these plucky little guys, proudly announcing it,” he said, while taking a swig. “Have some shame, man. At least for our sake. Don’t rub it in.”
“Why don’t you also come over to our offices and steal our lunch while you’re at it?”
