{Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not present itself as the truth. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.}
KARACHI — In an initiative that analysts say “accurately captures the spirit of doing business in Pakistan,” toy manufacturer Jiddat Games & Sons (Private) Limited has launched a new Urdu-language version of the classic Monopoly board game, redesigned to reflect local economic realities.
According to a company statement, the new Koror Patti edition introduces several localized mechanics, including “strategic bribe placement” cards, military-owned competitor takeovers, and the possibility of losing entire industries overnight to “religious volatility squares.”
“We wanted to make Monopoly more relatable to our audience,” said CEO Tariq Hasan, unveiling the board at an event attended by minor influencers and one senator’s nephew. “In our version, players will experience the thrill of navigating real-world challenges — from negotiating tax rebates with officials to strategically building relationships with businesses whose management screams ‘6-0!’ whenever someone puts up a tough question about those businesses’ financial statements at the annual shareholders’ meeting.”
Players begin with a starting capital of Rs. 5 crores and an accountant uncle. The objective is no longer to build hotels but to successfully navigate “fiscal year-end without NAB inquiries.”
The traditional “Go to Jail” square has been replaced by “Summoned to FIA Cyber Crime Wing,” while Chance and Community Chest cards have been localized to include such fortunes as “You criticized the budget on Twitter. Miss two turns while account frozen” and “Your cousin joins the civil service. Collect 20 lakh rupees in government contracts.”
Economists have praised the game’s realism. “It’s a wonderful teaching tool,” said one Karachi-based policy researcher. “Children can now learn that success depends on a host of factors. Factors whose sons you went to school with and play golf with.”
Retailers report strong early sales, particularly among families where the father is “already out on bail.” The company plans future expansions, including Monopoly: Bahria Town Edition, Monopoly: KP Mines are Mine, and Monopoly: Corps Patti.
