Writer Mohammad Hanif had a bit of a gaffe by not knowing how private equity works this week, but we cannot quite blame him because most people would not know this and it really only was a gaffe to those nerds that actually understand a little bit of finance. That was not even the worst part of the week, with car prices and work from home being hot topics. Ariba Shahid brings you all this and more in this week’s social media roundup.
Assets
The office in Karachi sold a 2017 Civic for 2.6 million PKR. We bought it for 1.5 million. This is what fuels shit car policies year after year regardless of who’s in power.
— Shakir Husain (@shakirhusain) September 3, 2021
Remember when everyone told you to buy gold or a plot as a form of investment. Turns out all you needed was to buy a car and even drive it around town, wear it out a bit, and get more than what you put in. Essentially making a profit on disposal if you take into account depreciation. That is the power of dwindling currency. It has also played somewhat of a role in convincing Pakistanis to only buy cars that they perceive as having a good ‘resale value’ – a silly proposition that somehow holds true here. Go figure.
Work from home rules
If your dining table isn’t also your work-desk then sorry you’re too rich and we can’t be friends.
— Lawyerman™ (@lawyerman_ktk) September 3, 2021
Work from home means working from bed, your dining room table, drawing room, coffee table, and even kitchen counter (where I’m writing this from). If you have a fancy table with a nice bookshelf in the background to impress people at your zoom meetings, we will call you bougie. The real ones of course are those that use those plastic desks you can use in bed as well. A work desk is just so much work and so much expense, and we will judge you for it.
Kudos
If egos are not an issue, @ImranKhanPTI and @Asad_Umar should thank @SKhaqanAbbasi and Nadeem Babar for securing best possible #LNG deals of respective times. This may depoliticize an economic sector and facilitate incumbent officials to take decisions on merit.
— Khaleeq Kiani (@KhaleeqKiani) September 3, 2021
Credit where credit is due. What we hope to see in the future is politicians from various parties accepting the good things others have done or are suggesting. The collective effort should be towards a better Pakistan and not towards competition just for the sake of power.
Startup mania
Keep ordering chips and bread and eggs funded by some random VC willing to burn cash — never forget that your chips are funded by investor money who you probably haven’t even heard of
— Ammar Khan (@rogueonomist) September 3, 2021
Startups pump a lot of money into consumer acquisition costs. They could either go boom or bust someday. In the meantime, as consumers don’t you love it when you get discounts on ecommerce platforms? Try to enjoy this time while it lasts. Because once they are done buying customers, you are the ones that they are going to make that initial investment up from.
Allah janay
https://twitter.com/nicoundercover_/status/1433838291569287187?s=20
You never know where you’re going to be but you can hope to be somewhere by a certain time. But yes, this seems like the only valid answer during an interview when you’re flustered. It is also technically an answer for every question they throw at you, but we advise that you use this phrase with caution. Perhaps restrict yourself to just the single utterance in every job interview? Choose your moment carefully.
Two sides
formula in national security meetings pic.twitter.com/w9zNOjiOrf
— Svengali (@Ronin212) September 4, 2021
Formulas derived and tested. That is what Nida Yasir thought when two NUST engineers told her about the formula 1 cars they made. There are two sides to this whole debate. The first is that Formula1 fans are extremely annoying, particularly the new ones that have popped up since they watched some God forsaken series on Netflix so it is fair for Nida Yasir to do this to them and bring them down a peg and show them nobody really cares. The second side is that she really should have at least known what she was interviewing them about. We are probably leaning towards the former side, because despite our journalistic interviewing sensibilities, boy oh boy are racing fans annoying.
Self-plug
Tell me you don’t know what private equity is without telling me https://t.co/cFOsPyaBW5
— Azam A. Khan (@AzamAKhan2) September 4, 2021
Well in Mohammad Hanif’s defence, the number of people that understand private equity or whatever the hell happened at K Electric with Abraaj are a handful in Pakistan. But it’s okay, Profit is here to explain stuff. Here’s a shameless self plug on Pakistan’s PE space. https://profit.pakistantoday.com.pk/2021/07/25/pakistans-private-equity-potential/
What’s in a job?
Why bother having a personality when you can put your job title in your name and bio
— Nida Jaffery (@nidafjaffery) September 3, 2021
Some people make their jobs their entire personality. Do you blame them when they spend all their time at work? Sometimes I feel my job is my entire personality too, and yes my job title is in my bio because I like to be vain and pretentious. However, no one likes those people.
- Yes
Has the pandemic affected anyone’s ability to simply…write?
— Aadita Chaudhury (@ThylacineReport) September 3, 2021
Yes. Yes it has. Trust us. It has.
Loopholes
Using name of the Quaid should not be allowed. Under the list of prohibited names by SECP, names of Famous/Distinct Personalities can only be used by the permission of competent authority. Permission to use Jinnah in the name of any commercial venture should not be granted. https://t.co/QqpUA9gjAW
— Musadaq Zulqarnain (@MusadaqZ) September 3, 2021
Waiting for Jinnah cola, Jinna chips, Jinnah bubble gum, Jinnah mobile phone, Jinnah car, and Jinnah housing scheme. The possibilities are endless. Although it would be interesting to see if they could get away with this by using a loophole like spelling Jinnah with a single n or something.
Nobody should have to do this
babe are you ok? you barely touched your 60 page investment memo?
— swoph (@swoph) September 3, 2021
Is anyone that has to read a 60 page investment memo ever okay? I think not.
