Chilgozza supremacy – this week in Pakistan’s business and economics twitterverse

The truly inspiring moment that shines through from last week is Muzzamil Aslam eating chilgozay on live television. People have criticised him for not being serious about national issues because of his eating, but this is one hill we are willing to die on. A lot else was happening as well, with moments of introspection, complex math, and debates about Whatsapp all around. Ariba Shahid brings you all this and more in this week’s social media roundup. 

Moment for introspection 

We often find ourselves comparing Pakistan to India while talking about just about anything. Honestly though, this is a moment to self-inspect. What have we as a nation built to push STEM forward? What have we done to push innovation? Does the elite capture even let regular everyday talent progress in life? Only then can we compare ourselves to India. 

{Editor’s note: The only populist STEM based ‘national hero’ we have is the recently deceased Dr Abdul Qadeer Khan, whose most daring feats had more to do with clandestine smuggling operations than with scientific innovation and discovery. The closest we have to an actual (not populist) STEM based inspiration is Nobel winner Dr Abdus Salam, and his legacy in Pakistan has been tarnished precisely because our priorities as  a nation lie in all the wrong places.}   

Complex math 

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It was so easy when the dollar traded at 100 against the rupee. All you had to do was add 2 zeros. Now you’ve got to do a whole lot of math to know how expensive your splurge at Sephora is going to be, or how expensive everything good in life actually is.

Blessing of Whatsapp 

Whatsapp is a game changer for businesses. Honestly there’s so much anxiety over email. This is easy and instant. No formalities and more importantly used by the masses.

Cheap encouragement 

The film industry in Pakistan has been asking for support for a really long time. It’s kind of like when a child makes an ugly painting but you say it’s beautiful to encourage and nurture their talents. Too bad the child is now old and should be able to sustain themselves and take criticism. I guess this one just isn’t leaving the nest. Moreover, without criticism, can the industry ever flourish? We get a lot too and appreciate the fact that someone is taking the time out to tell us how to improve or whatever.

Change the guy 

If you can’t change the guy, change the guy. This is something I’ve heard my frustratingly single friends say while giving relationship advice. It’s funny though, I feel someone has given it to Imran Khan too because how can you change a finance secretary this often? Do you have commitment phobia? Also one would expect the finance ministry to be the most important in terms of long term stability.

Cyber risks 

Cyber security in Pakistan is a joke. Just stay safe kids.

Big deal 

It is a badge of honor when our favorite Do Marlay Ka Moun follows you back. As someone that isn’t particularly a fan of anon accounts, this is one account I avidly follow.

Chilgoza supremacy 

There is literally so much out there that you can criticize Muzzamil for. His Farooq Sattar-esque justifications for policies, the shoddy economics he throws around from time to time, and his price comparison strategies. However, eating pine nuts on tv may be one of his saner tv appearances. However, not a pretty sight seeing him try to open a pine nut in his mouth. We stand by his right to eat on tv the same way we stand with the right to drink healthy apple juice on tv.

Parents’ word is law 

Don’t you just love it when the government tries to act like your mom telling you that you don’t need Cheetos and doritos because they’re insanely expensive?

PSX massacre 

The PSX crash this week is now being named the Chundrigar Massacre. Please state any objections before the next issue or forever hold your peace. 

Ariba Shahid
The author is a business journalist at Profit. She can be reached at [email protected] or at twitter.com/AribaShahid

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