{Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not present itself as the truth. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.}
The nation’s personal finance experts this week advised owners of electric vehicles to start making minimum daily commutes of four hours in order for them to justify their expensive purchases.
Convening at a seminar in Islamabad jointly organised by Profit Magazine and PakWheels, there seemed to be a consensus amongst the nation’s personal finance analysts about the need to go out of the city for the purchase to be justified not only to one’s family and friends but also oneself.
“We’re talking about a price difference of about Rs 3 million maybe, in some cases Rs 5 million, in some, Rs. 1.5 million,” said Raheem Siddiqui, an analyst and a tax lawyer. “So I would recommend a daily commute between Islamabad and Lahore if we’re being honest. I’m not as optimistic as my other co-panellist friends, some of whom suggest that even a rush-hour Rawalpindi-Islamabad commute would do the trick. Laughable. If Islamabad residents can’t manage Lahore, they could try Peshawar.”
“CapEx is just too much with this, regardless of how little the running expenses are; there’s just no way to sugarcoat this,” said Fizza Haider, a finance lecturer at a local business school. “There are some problems you cannot work around, you have to work through them. So just roll up your sleeves and get ready for that daily commute. Buy a house in Sheikh Maltoon Housing Society in Mardan, which would be cheaper than anything you would be able to get in Peshawar.”
The conference panellists broke for a lunch break when a member from a delegation of engineering students visiting from UET Taxila pointed out that by the time these long commutes would have recouped the initial capital investment, it would be time to replace the battery again, necessitating another expensive purchase.
