{Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not present itself as the truth. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.}
“There were too many retirees, to be frank, and we can’t have them hogging up all the fiscal space without doing any work,” said Siddiq Haider, federal finance secretary, while speaking to Profit. “This is it.”
“But now, we won’t be spending that much on pensions. We will be spending it on salaries instead,” he said.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this,” he said. “There has been much silly talk about how our ever-expanding pensions budget was going to cross our entire developmental spending. Silly, because spending on pensioners, specially military pensioners, is very much development as well.”
“This will not just decrease our pension spending but also bring in a host of other positive developments,” he said. “For example, it will bring a nice combination. On the one hand, we will have these senior, really senior civil servants who know the wisdom of doing things the way they have always been done, whereas on the other hand, the rest of the younger federal bureaucracy that is famous for being very modern, shaking things up and using newer technology. Some of them have even installed fax machines in the federal secretariat!”
“Now, if you will excuse me, I have to rush this paperwork through from Q-block,” he said, referring to the finance ministry in the federal secretariat in Islamabad. “I have to make sure the legislation is passed before next month.”
“My 60th birthday on the 16th, you see.”
